So This is War
by scooterwoof
Summary: Sequel to Gummy Bears. MattXNear. Bits of MattXMello and MelloXNear. STORY ABANDONED.
1. Foodfight

**A/N:** OMFG IT'S BEEN TOO LONG -cries- Ahem, sorry. Anyways, it has been two weeks since the release of the last chapter of Gummy Bears and I was bored out of my mind and completely restless. I couldn't wait for the two weeks to pass Dx

If you haven't read Gummy Bears yet, you really need to read it. This isn't one of those stories you can just start on the sequel and understand everything.

I hope you like this first chapter, which was so graciously beta'ed by threemillionworded, though we didn't really need much help with editing this chapter.

Please enjoy the first chapter of So This is War!

Death Note © Ohba and Obata

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Mello grinned as he caught sight of Near. "Why _hello_, Near." He replied, his voice oozing with malicious sweetness. If it were an object, it would probably be a chocolate coated grenade; in Mello's mind, at least.

Matt noted the tension between the two, and decided to sit down between them. Who knew what would go on during this dinner?

"How is Mello faring today?" Near asked, fake concern ringing out in every word.

Mello smiled sweetly. "Why hello, Near. I am doing _quite_ well, thank you. How is your life?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Matt blinked, looking from one boy to the other. What were they doing? He'd expected to have increasing tension and anger, or at least silence, but apparently not.

"My life is quite _satisfactory _at the moment. Although seeing Mello's ugly mug puts quite a damper on my peachy keen life," Near replied with a challenging glint in his slate gray eyes.

Mello rose an eyebrow. "I'm sorry. Would you like me to put a bag over my head, _darling_?" Why not throw in a little spice in this soon-to-be-boring conversation?

"Well, it _would_ prevent me from becoming prematurely blind. And if it is a plastic bag, the whole world would surely benefit if Mello were to choke to his untimely death."

Mello frowned. Why didn't Near say anything weird?

"Shut up, queer," he muttered, picking up his spoon absent-mindedly and piling mashed potatoes onto it. Suddenly, and idea emerged in his mind. With a grin and a 'plop', Mello sent a wad of mashed potatoes into Near's face. "There you go! Now you can't see my face."

Near sat there for a moment, his eyes closed to keep mashed potatoes out. He wiped the spuds out of his eyes slowly and carefully. Then he grabbed the small fruit tart he'd grabbed for desert, stood to lean over the table, and smashed the pastry down on Mello's head.

"Fruit is good for hair, you know."

Matt ducked under the tables, clutching his head in his hands. "Ah! Guys, stop fighting, or some one'll-"

"FOODFIIIIIGHT!"

Near's eyes widened, and he struggled to get under the table. He hadn't meant to start a food fight. He and Mello were merely bickering.

Mello looked around, confused, as he was suddenly alone at the table. Where did Matt and Near go?

All thoughts of the two other children were abandoned as something rather mushy hit the back of his head.

"Oi, who threw that?!" He demanded. Instead of being met with silence like he had expected, he was met with more slop, which turned out to be mashed potatoes, in his face.

Mello's anger went through the roof, and he picked up a plate and chucked it at the nearest kid's head. It missed, fortunately, but a bunch of people stopped to watch it sail by as it smashed into quite a few people's heads.

"AHA!" he shouted, grinning, "Take THAT!"

Amongst the shouting, laughing, and flying food, Matt was chiding Near.

"Near, I can't believe you just started a damn food fight with Mello!" Matt scolded the white-headed genius cowering in a fetal position.

"I apologize Matt…" Near started, but Matt interrupted him.

"Near, saying sorry doesn't fix anything! Is it really _that_ hard for you to get along with Mello?" The redhead demanded.

Near thought over this for a moment, twirling a lock of hair around his finger.

"Matt, I realize that apologizing does not stop a food fight, but it might make you feel better to know that I regret starting one in the first place. And in regards to Mello, I simply need more time to adjust to his personality. That, and we do have an unpleasant past together. It will take a while to let that go." Near placed an awkward hand on Matt's back. "I will make a more earnest effort if it will make you feel better."

Matt sighed. "Thanks Near, but now we're stuck in this mess hiding under a table…"

"Well, you know how the saying goes: When in Rome…" Near's voice trailed off as he grabbed the clam chowder from Matt's tray on top of the table. He struggled to pull Mello's leather pants back far enough so that he could quickly dump the clam chowder down into his garments.

Mello squirmed at the unwanted touch, then almost jumped up when he felt searing hot liquid coursing down his pants.

"Holy shit!" He spun around, the heated soup sending shudders up his spine, his eyes flaring with regenerated anger.

"Who the hell did that?!" He demanded. Then, he suddenly paused, grabbed an apple, and ducked under the table.

His eyes met Near's.

"You bastard!" He shouted. With a grit of teeth and a swing of the arm, the apple was smashed onto Near's head.

It wasn't like it was done hard enough to cause any serious damage, but it would hurt for quite a while. Perhaps the bruise would turn purple later!

"That's what you get for pouring _soup_ down my pants, you bitch!"

"Mello…!" Matt scowled at the blond.

Near fell over onto his back, his hands tenderly holding the top of his head where the apple had come down. It hurt so much that he couldn't speak. Apples were very hard.

"Mello, stop fighting with Near! Look, you hurt him!" Matt yelled at Mello. "I'm not saying he was right to pour soup down your pants, but you didn't have to fire back!"

Mello turned on Matt. "What, and I'm perfectly fine?! He poured clam _fucking_ chowder down my pants! How do you think _that_ felt, Matt?! It's an eye for an eye, and I don't give a damn if the world goes blind because of it! Why don't you get mad at _him _every once in a while?!" He demanded.

"I'm mad at _both_ of you, dumb shit! You think I want my best friend and my boyfriend to fight like this?! I can't believe you two! Sitting with you both at the same time is the same as watching two toddlers argue!" Matt retorted. "Now, if you need me, I'll be in my room smashing my head against the damn wall because it's better than watching the two of you fight!" Matt angrily climbed out from under the table and ran out of the cafeteria, not wanting to be hit with any food. Somehow, he managed to get out the door with only a little bit of blueberry pie on his back.

"Damn it." Mello slammed his fist on the floor, ignoring the throbbing ache. His eyes stung, but he couldn't feel any tears going down his face. "God damn it. Dumb shit my ass…" He muttered to himself, sniffing quietly. Why was nothing going right? Of course he wanted to get along with Near. Why couldn't Matt understand that he just _couldn't_? Trying to make him befriend Near was like trying to get a rock through a paper shredder. Alright, maybe you _could_ get it to work out, but it would take a huge amount of time and a shitload of work; in the end, it wouldn't be worth it. It _couldn't_ be worth it.

"Mello!" Near grabbed Mello by his shirt and pulled him, with great strain, under the table as well. "I'm… Well, I apologize for pouring soup down your pants, and I apologize for antagonizing you," he told the blond, a small, guilty frown playing on his lips. "I don't wish to upset Matt any more than I already have, so I propose a truce. As much as it pains me to say this, I'll at least _try_ to make a conscientious effort to get along with you as long as you're willing to do the same. Deal?" Near asked, holding out his hand for Mello to shake. His other hand was rubbing his aching head. April lie almost forgotten against Near's foot.

Mello blinked, contemplating on whether or not he should shake the hand and agree. He didn't want to be left in the dust, replaced by Near; but then again, his pride was screaming at him to do something negative to Near. Not just for the sake of being mean to Near, but because that was one of the few things that was staying the same. Matt was more distant, Near was growing closer, his day was screwed up because of April, but he could still argue with Near. Just like always. But then again, if he was going to continue selfishly arguing with Near for his own satisfaction, what would Near think? More importantly, what would Matt think? Of course he'd be angry. He would leave Mello behind, taking Near as a full time boyfriend and best friend.

Mello bit his lip at the thought.

There was no way in _hell_ he'd be beaten by Near.

"Sure, I guess." The blond took and shook Near's hand begrudgingly.

"Good. Now that we have that settled, I think I'll get out of here… Before things get too crazy." Near said, but before he could get out from under the table, Roger shouted, rather loudly, for order to return to the lunchroom. Kids immediately stopped throwing food.

"Whoever started this food fight is in the most trouble I've ever had to deal with! The perpetrators will be punished _severely. _Now, _who started this monstrosity?!_" Roger yelled.

Everyone pointed towards Mello and Near, and a few of the kids even said their names aloud.

Mello, also still under the table, looked over to Near, panicking.

"Ah! Uh… stay under there, ok?" He rushed out before standing up and facing Roger.

"Hey there!" He waved nervously. "Uhm… I know what you're going to say, but it wasn't our fault! He threw something at me, and I put some mashed potatoes on his face. _Nobody_ else was involved in that, but then some _idiot_ decided it would be a splendid idea to start a food fight. We _weren't_ going to throw anything at anyone else, and we weren't going to even throw anything else after that! Why punish us for some harmless bantering when you could punish the one who decided to shout out, _'FOODFIGHT'_?!" Mello's voice grew louder and more upset as he went on in his and Near's defense. Wait, why was he defending Near? Near was the first one to throw something at Mello, so why not say that and let Near take all the blame?

Mello crossed his arms, frowning, challenging someone to rebuke an angry Mello with chowder-filled pants.

Near's eyes widened. Why would Mello defend him? Near was sure Mello would simply blame the whole thing on Near like the normal Mello would have. Of course, Mello's facts were a bit off. Mello had thrown the first food.

There was a deathly silence in the cafeteria as Roger pondered over Mello's words.

"Very well," the old man finally said after coming to a decision. "I will punish all three of you. Now, who shouted 'food fight'?"

"IT WAS MEEEEE!!!" Hawtdawg practically sang.

Roger collected the three boys at fault by their shirts and roughly dragged them to his office.

Near frowned as he was tugged along, barely grasping onto April. He'd never gotten in trouble like _this_ before.

Mello sighed as he was dragged along. He'd _hoped_ that Roger would see some sense, but apparently not. His other punishments were probably going to be a slap on the wrist compared to what he was going to get for a simple friendly bicker.

Wait, what?

_Friendly_?

Mello face palmed. There must have been something in his food. Maybe Matt put something in his chocolate. Yes, that had to be it! Why else would he be so… pro-Near?

"You two stay out here," Roger commanded Near and Mello once they were outside of his office. "And don't you _dare_ run away. Got it? I'm talking to _you_, Mello!" Without waiting for a reply, Roger stepped inside his office with Hawtdawg still in his grasp.

Near let a small sigh escape his lips and took a seat in one of the four chairs located to the sides of the door frame of Roger's office.

"I hope your efforts won't be in vain…" Near said, mostly to himself.

Mello 'humphed'.

"Playing favorites much, Roger?" He mumbled under his breath. Now he was starting to regret saving his and Near's butts. Sure, they would probably get all the blame, but he could've at least managed to put more blame on Near. Though, when Matt found out… Mello sighed. He would probably lose his best friend. And that was the last thing on his to-do list. But damn it, he wanted to make Near suffer for this. Why did life hate him so much? What was he supposed to do; act like he wanted and get Matt to hate him forever, or go against most of his own rules for Matt's sake?

"Yeah, same," he agreed. "It better not be," he added under his breath.

Many minutes passed by at a painfully slow pace. Finally, Hawtdawg left Roger's office completely sobbing.

"What did he do?" Near wondered quietly.

"He yelled at me lots and said I have to clean all of the bathrooms two times every week for three weeks!" Hawtdawg sobbed as he trudged down the hall.

Near looked at Mello. Perhaps Mello's words actually _had_ convinced Roger it was more Hawtdawg's fault than it was theirs.

"Mello, Near, please come in," Roger called from his desk.

Near slowly entered the room and sat in one of the two chairs in front of the desk.

Trepidation was slowly oozing through Mello like some sort of tar, or the clam chowder in his pants. He shifted uncomfortably in his new seat, and he glanced over at Near before turning over to Roger. Had he convinced Roger that they weren't at fault? What was he going to do to them? Mello bit his lip, his hands fisting momentarily.

"Well…?" He asked cautiously; he just wanted to get this over with.

Roger folded his hands neatly on his desk and stared hard at Near and Mello. "Well," he began, "I have considered your words, Mello, and while I agree, it was still wrong of you two to even raise food against each other. Therefore, you will still be punished, but not as severely as Franklin."

Near heaved an inaudible sigh of relief.

"You will have to clean the cafeteria and then you are to return to your rooms for the rest of the night."

It wasn't all that bad, so Near was content with the punishment. He looked over at Mello, wondering if the blond would fight the sentence.

Mello frowned, but he didn't argue. Sure was a hell of a lot better than cleaning the bathrooms. How could Matt have possibly spent an hour in there without puking? Oh, Hawtdawg was going to have fun with that little puppy.

"Alright…" he muttered.

"The janitor should be in the cafeteria by now. He'll tell you what to do. Hop to it, now," Roger said, dismissing the two boys.

Near tucked April under his arm and left Roger's office, walking back towards the cafeteria.

Mello sighed as he walked down the hallway with Near. "I wonder if April can eat cafeteria food." The blond wondered absent-mindedly.

Near chuckled at the blond's statement, but didn't reply otherwise. April was a robotic baby. How would she be able to eat real food?

Mello looked over at Near in surprise. Since when did Near chuckle- or laugh at all, for that matter? Though, then again, since when had he ever shown interest in Matt?

When they got to the cafeteria, which was void of children at this point, the janitor looked as if he was about to weep. He angrily showed them the proper method and steps to cleaning up this giant mess. Then they were left alone to clean the empty, but extremely messy cafeteria.

Near began mopping the disgusting floors, looking like a terrified child while doing so.

"Alright… here we go." Mello cracked his fists, pulling out a bar of chocolate and proceeding to eat it. The sweet food melted in his mouth, and Mello let out a contented sigh. Aaahh, that was better. When was the last time he had any chocolate? The morning? Yesterday? Whenever it was, it was too long ago. It was always a fine time for chocolate. The flavor of it, combined with the feeling of it running soothingly down your throat, is one that makes you calm down and enter a relaxed state, even if only for a few seconds.

Not to mention that it tasted _amazing_.

His small, almost non-existent smile disappearing, Mello proceeded to wash down the windows. It was only fair, after all; Mello was taller by a good inch or two, so he was definitely the one who was best fitted to do the job.

"Hey Mello," Near called, not looking up from the chaotic floor, "how do your pants feel?" He guessed they felt disgusting, and though he knew it was kind of mean, he couldn't help but laugh at Mello on the inside.

**

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A/N:

So yeah, that was the first chapter. Hope you liked it. It was fun to write :)

I had more to say about this chapter, but I forgot. Please review, fave, and alert~! Your feedback is very valuable to Steve and I!

As for the sequel as a whole, none of you will see anything coming, unless we drop a couple foreshadowing clues in thar. It will be epic. Anyways, update will happen next Monday~!


	2. Cleaning

**A/N:** Okies, new chapter is here! I forgot to say something in the last chapter. Steve and I switched roles a bit last chapter. After about halfway through it, I had to start being everyone except Mello xD If you can review saying where you think I took over as Matt, I will give you a pat on the head. And possibly a cookie.

Anyways, please enjoy this lovely chapter.

* * *

Mello shot a death glare at Near's general direction, eyes narrowing.

"Wet. Matt bailed again; how's your-" He paused, remembering his deal with Near, and shut his mouth, his gaze shifting to the side.

'_Stupid Near and his stupid deal,' _He ranted silently.

"N-nevermind. Sorry." He added quickly, a light blush adding some color to his face.

'_Damn it! What's wrong with me?! Since when have I ever _blushed_ around Near?'_

Near was about to respond, but April's fake voice began to scream and cry. It caused Near to lose his attention on the floor for a split second, but that's all it took. He stepped on what he hoped was gravy and slipped. Falling backwards, he let out a small yelp as his back slammed against the hard, unforgiving floor.

Mello turned to look at Near when he heard a loud thump and a high pitched, mechanical cry.

"Ack! Near, get up! What does April want?" He asked, walking over to Near.

After a second without response, Mello prodded Near in the side with his shoe, worry creeping up his spine.

"Near? You ok?"

Near didn't respond, though he glared up at Mello for touching him with his dirty shoe. He silently stood up and went to tend to April. Since she'd already been fed, burped and changed, the only thing she needed now was a nap. He picked up the baby and passed the sensor on his wristband over the baby's eyes. April's eyes closed, so Near assumed she was "napping."

Without speaking a word, and covered in gravy, Near went back to mopping the floor.

Mello frowned. _'I go out of my way to be nice, and this is what I get? The cold shoulder? Well Near, two can play at that game…'_

With a frustrated huff, Mello walked briskly over to the windows, where he proceeded to scrape off the food and God knows what else off the windows. Half this stuff looked like an odd diarrhea substance; what was that, anyways? Oatmeal, mashed potatoes, hummus? Bread in a blender filled with water? His mind reeled with the possibilities.

However, no less than five minutes later, Mello was biting his lip to keep himself from speaking. It was so _boring_¸ cleaning up the windows. Sure, not talking to Near made things much more dull. But what made silence almost unbearable was that he _could_ be talking to Near. Maybe they could be having a spat, a friendly competition, or even a chat about the latest weather, but whatever it was, it would surely be better than just sitting and doing nothing very fun. His arm was getting rather tired, and his other arm was much less coordinated, which only worsened the matter. A sore arm and the agonizing desire to speak to _something_ was simply too much to take.

"Oi, Near. Talk a bit!" He called over, not turning his head. Maybe if he could trick his mind into thinking he was talking with Matt, so then his voice would sound normal and casual.

Oh wait.

If it was Matt he was talking to, he'd probably be a bit more cautious. After all, Matt _had_ fallen in love with the enemy. Maybe Mello would talk to Matt a bit sad, but definitely not normal.

So then, why was it that he was even able to manage an almost… dare he say it… _happy_ tone when he knew that he was talking to Near?

Near was surprised to hear that Mello wanted to talk to him, but he supposed it was simply out of boredom. With a shrug, he decided to humor the blond with a conversation.

"I used to think the food here was of high quality. Seeing it like this, I'm beginning to doubt that," mused the albino. "What do you think?"

Mello jolted slightly in surprise. He wasn't expecting Near to actually respond. Might as well take advantage of the situation… Cleaning the windows isn't exactly the most entertaining thing to do.

"Definitely. Sure tastes good, though…" He agreed.

"Perhaps the food doesn't taste all that great…" Near thoughtfully said. "This is the only food I ever remember eating in my life. Perhaps there is way better food in other places, and this food would actually be terrible food to someone outside of Wammy's." He was mostly speaking to himself, but he had no problem with Mello chiming in if he wanted to.

Mello nodded. "Perhaps… God damn it Near. Now I'm probably going to think the food here is crap. _Great_." He rolled his eyes, sighing. He let his arms have a quick rest, dipping the window wiper in the bucket of soapy water.

"I apologize… I guess…" Near couldn't wait until this punishment was over. At the rate he was mopping the floor, it would take _days_ to clean the cafeteria. They only had until breakfast tomorrow morning to finish. Near hastened his mopping while still trying to clean well. "This is going to take a long time…"

Mello nodded once more. The conversation had quickly lost its spark, and there was no point in it anymore. "Yes, you bet it will… at least we've got until breakfast tomorrow. I just wish I was allowed to _sleep_. An all nighter with you and April isn't exactly something I've always dreamed of, you know."

Near didn't respond to Mello's comment, but he began working even faster. Now he was practically running laps around the cafeteria while pushing the mop on the floor in front of him. A thought crossed Near's mind and he decided to speak it aloud.

"Mello, why is it that you hate me so much? I can understand that you hate being in second place, but is that really the only reason? I could understand if I bragged about winning or said mean things to you, however, I don't do those things…"

Mello almost wanted to smash his head into the window. Why did Near have to bring _that_ up? The conversation was already getting on his nerves, and asking that question…

Well, quite frankly, Mello didn't know why he hated Near.

He still hated him, right?

"… You annoy me." He replied. It was true in most aspects, but it wasn't enough to cause hate, was it?

'_Of course it is.' _He told himself. _'It _has_ to be. I need to hate him. I have to! I always have, so I always will, right?'_ But Mello knew that he was just lying to himself. He didn't hate Near, did he? He wasn't particularly _fond_ of the boy, but he didn't hate him anymore.

'_No, that's not right! I hate him, I really do!' _Mello bit his lip as anger swelled up in his chest, his throat constricting slightly.

His working pace increased, and he moved on to the next set of windows, his arm scrubbing soap much harder than necessary onto the windows.

Near gave a small chuckle. "That's quite a petty answer, Mello." When Near looked over his progress at cleaning the floor, he almost clicked his heels. He was half done, which made him feel a bit more confident. He resumed with his quick cleaning.

Mello frowned, but didn't rebuke. He looked around, and sighed. Cleaning the windows was rather difficult and time-consuming, even with what looked like the world's tallest squeegee. Sure, it was really tall; but _damn_ that thing was heavy. And what really bugged Mello was that he had to use it to dry off the windows constantly. Unfortunately for him, some of the food was caked onto the windows and was proving to be quite difficult to be removed.

Matt snuck down the hall towards the cafeteria. They had all received orders to go get cleaned up and stay out of the eatery for the rest of the night. Matt was about to disobey these orders. Well, he _had_ changed shirts, since the other one had blueberry pie on it, but that was beside the point. The gamer had heard people saying that both Mello and Near had to clean the refectory. He was still angry with Near and Mello's behavior, but he still wanted to see Near badly. He would see Mello when he got back to their room, but he wasn't so lucky with Near.

Matt cautiously, but quickly, snuck past the bright orange cones that held a sign saying 'Keep Out,' and crept into the cafeteria.

When Near saw Matt, he immediately stopped mopping.

"Hey Mello," Matt called a greeting to the blond. "Hey Near-- HOLY SHIT! What the _hell_ are you covered in?!" The redhead demanded of the albino, quickly walking over to him and staring at the green-ish brown stuff he was covered in.

"I slipped in gravy. Or at least, I _hope_ it's gravy…" Near answered, twirling a lock of his hair.

Mello turned around happily at the sound of Matt's voice. Yes! Someone to talk to!

Oh. Right.

He was here to see _Near_, wasn't he?

"H-hey Matt." He called back. At least Matt wasn't accusing him of shoving Near in the gravy or anything. Sighing, Mello continued his work.

Right now, he just wanted to get back to his room.

Matt gave Near a small peck on the lips. "Well, it kind of looks like someone threw up on their bed sheets," he chuckled.

"Ha, ha. Yes, it's very funny." Near rolled his eyes and continued mopping, but this time with more passion. The kiss made him feel refreshed and recharged. "So why are you here?" Near asked as he cleaned.

"I wanna help you guys clean this place up. It's an awful lot of work for just two people," Matt replied. "So who needs more help?"

Mello didn't see the kiss, but Near's newfound energy made him _very_ uncomfortable.

Then it came.

'_Yes! A chance to get the hell out of here!'_

"I could use some help, if you wouldn't mind." Mello called over, turning to glance at the pair. "This squeegee is heavy as shit and I don't wanna do that on top of the soaping down and watering."

"Okay," Matt said. He walked over to Mello and took the squeegee from him. "But you should probably wipe the tables down…" He advised.

Mello looked at the tables, then back at Matt. "Roger that, Matt." He nodded, and walked over to the closest table. Sighing, he grabbed one of the wet towels left behind by the janitor and proceeded to dump the food onto the floor for Near to pick up later.

A couple hours passed as all three Wammy boys diligently worked to clean the cafeteria. Little by little, progress was made. After getting all the food in a single pile, they began using mops to sweep the defiled chow into trash bags. When they were finished with that, the had to take all the trash bags and put them in the dumpsters.

Near heaved a sigh as they finished straightening all the tables and chairs in the cafeteria. He was glad that they were finally finished, and took a seat in the chair next to Matt, who was also resting.

"Thank you for helping, Matt. It probably would have taken twice as long if it had just been Mello and myself." Near gave a small smile.

Matt smiled back. "No problem," he replied, then gave Near a sloppy kiss on the lips.

The flames of fury quickly engulfed Mello, consuming him from the inside out. His breath shook, his hands clenched into bone-white fists, and his teeth clenched together as he fought to keep his shaky breathing under control.

"Damn it all to hell." He muttered under his breath, swinging away from the two. "God _fucking_ damn it." He cursed. Coughing, he cleared his throat.

"I-I'm going back to my room." He announced, keeping his voice under control for the most part, though it still wavered.

With that, he stormed out of the room. Once the door was shut, he broke into a dead sprint, racing back to his room as tears began to stream down his cheeks.

Matt watched Mello storm away with worry in his eyes. What could have made Mello so angry? Was it that he had finally seen Matt and Near kiss? Matt couldn't be sure. He gave Near a worried look.

"Perhaps you should go after him. He seemed positively infuriated," Near said, which eased Matt's worry a little.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, Near." With that, Matt gave Near a small good-bye kiss on the cheek and exited the cafeteria.

Near grabbed April and slowly walked back to his own room.

Matt practically sprinted down the hall towards his room. He nearly ran into a few people during his maddash. Once he reached the door, he skidded to a stop and cautiously opened it. He wasn't sure what he'd find on the other side. To his disheartenment, he discovered the normally-explosive blond sobbing on his bed.

"M-Mello?" Matt whispered in desbelief. He closed the door behind him and sat beside the crying choco-monster. Cautiously, and almost fearfully, he stroked Mello's back with great care. "Why… Uh… What's wrong, Mels?" he asked.

Mello flinched at Matt's touch, and hastily wiped his eyes. How embarrassing; he was Mello! He never cried! "No-" he paused, then hung his head, sniffling as the tears started once more. "Everything, Matt. Everything's wrong." He stared at the floor, his voice soft and quiet.

Matt gave a frown. He rubbed Mello's back a little harder to make it more comforting. "Well, what's 'everything'?"

Mello leaned into the touch this time, letting out a heavy sigh as he slowly calmed down.

"Well…" he began, "My best friend and my worst enemy are dating, and that's not even half the problem! I feel like I never talk to you anymore, since you're always spending time with Near. It's like I don't even exist anymore! When we talk, you're usually bugging me because I was bugging Near, which is practically a conditioned reflex to me, for God's sake! It's like everything's changing, people are moving ahead, and I'm being left behind in the god-damn dust! I can't even hate Near anymore, and that's the one thing I was counting on not to change!" He confessed. He just prayed that Matt would understand; right now, Mello was incredibly vulnerable, and he was already regretting exposing himself to Matt. What if Near had followed, and was standing outside the door? Uneasiness crept up his spine, and he bit his lip as he awaited Matt's response.

Matt hummed his agreement. "Yeah, I guess you're right… I didn't realize what a douche I've been to you until just now… Sorry, Mels, I honestly didn't mean to drift away from you… I'll spend more time with you, but I still want you to try to get to know Near… I mean, if you knew him a little bit, then you might actually _like_ him. If you like him, then I won't have to divide my time between the two of you. You know, when I asked you to get along with Near, it wasn't just for Near's sake, or mine… I want you to get along with Near so that I won't have to leave you behind…"

"Now please stop crying, Mels… I'm not used to having to comfort someone all the time, and especially not you…"

Mello nodded, smiling slightly as he wiped his eyes dry. "Y-yeah." He yawned, covering his mouth with one of his hands, and sighed.

"It's late… can I go to bed now? I'd like some rest." He changed the subject abruptly. His chest felt considerably lighter, as though some weight had been lifted, and an odd feeling of relief was washing over his body like a tide.

"Yeah, good night, Mels." Matt grinned.

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**A/N: **Alright, first thing's first. My favorite word in this chapter is 'refectory' and it means a dining hall or dining room. Second, Mello finally cracked under the pressure of having his BFFL fall in love with his enemy!

I think it might be a bit emotional, but then again, it _is_ Mello and he's pretty loose with his emotions, and he hasn't cried once in this story so far until now, so I think that's good.

Reviews, faves, and alerts are appreciated~! Also, AUGUST 24 IS NEAR'S BIRTHDAY!!! Just thought I'd let everyone know…


	3. Jealousy

**A/N:** MAH! Sorry for the day lateness. I was so busy finishing summer homework and school shopping yesterday. Plus, I had to go to sleep early for the first day of school, which was today.

It was my first day of high school today, so I was super nervous, but there was this cute guy named Rem sitting behind me in French, so it was all good. For anyone who cares, I had a pretty good first day of high school. My future boyfriend's locker is right next to mine, so it's pretty nifty.

Anyways, back to the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry for not replying to your reviews if I didn't reply to them… Busy lately, so didn't have much time to.

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The next few days went by rather quickly and smoothly. Mello's situation with Matt and Near was slowly getting better. He got his best friend back. Unfortunately, Matt was right and he _did_ begin to like Near. It was terrible and good at the same time. He no longer lost his temper when Near poked fun at him. The only thing that really bugged him about Near now was the fact that Near was still 1st and he was still 2nd, but as long as they didn't talk about school, they would avoid complications altogether.

April got progressively easier to deal with, and both Near and Mello got better with taking turns taking care of her. Sadly, this required them to switch off hourly during the night, too. They were losing sleep, but they were still doing better.

Near was glad that Mello was getting more used to having him around, as was Matt. Although it shocked him, Near found Mello to actually be quite a pleasant person to talk to. Well, when he wasn't beating you senseless.

Matt was just happy to have everyone get along.

Unfortunately, the day came for Near and Mello to go buy clothing for their beloved April. They had been instructed that it had to be done on their own time, as it wasn't a school-sanctioned event. It added to the parental responsibility. Near woke up that day with a strange feeling in his gut. Usually, he could feel whether the day would be good or bad when he woke up. Today was a bit different because he felt that the day would be… unpredictable, in a word.

So with a slight feeling of anxiety, Near trudged out of bed and stretched a little bit. Then he headed over to Mello and Matt's room. He gave the door a few good knocks and waited.

Mello groaned, getting out of the bed. His muscles were still stiff, but they would be fully functioning soon enough. Matt was still asleep with his artificial kid, so it was probably Near at the door. Grabbing April by the hand, he let her dangle by his side as he made his way to the door.

"Coming, coming." He opened the door, and waved to Near, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "Morning Near."

"Good morning, Mello," Near greeted, "is Matt still sleeping?"

Mello nodded, then turned to look back at the red-head, who rolled over.

"Won't be for long, though. I swear to god, any time he hears you, he wakes up. It's like he's got a freaking Near-dar or something." He laughed.

Near grinned a little bit. "Mello, today is the day that we agreed to go shopping for April's clothing. That's the reason I'm here, you know."

Mello sighed, raking a hand through his hair and straightened it out. "Yeah yeah, I know." He assured the younger child. "Do you want to go now? If Matt wakes up, he'll want to go with us instead of Linda, and I don't want to risk having her tag along."

"Is that any reason to leave Matt? I want him to come with us…" Near's voice trailed off, as he was embarrassed.

Mello paused, and hung his head. Ugh. There was no arguing, was there? Matt was bound to wake up soon, and then all hope would be gone. Near and Matt kept their relationship hidden from all the other students and staff, but they were open around Mello. Sadly, that meant he got all their sappy words and kisses every day. Mello wanted to go somewhere else while they were like that, but who else would he talk to? All the other students bored him to tears. Sometimes he had to explain things over and over again, which got really irritating. Without those two, he'd be pretty much alone.

"Alright, alright. Just… no mushy stuff while we're out, dear _god_." He added in the one condition that mattered to him. Not only did it creep him out, but it made him rather irritated as well.

Near gave a flustered sigh. "Mello, that's the whole point of bringing Matt along," he said. He pushed past the blond and entered their cluttered room. There were cords from Matt's game systems, lollipop wrappers, chocolate wrappers, and clothes strewn all about the room.

Near hummed in disapproval at his beloved's sleeping quarters, but said nothing aloud. Intead, he crept onto Matt's bed and gently laid down on top of the redhead.

Said redhead mumbled something in his sleep before groggily opening his eyes. Finding that Near was laying on top of him and staring at him made his cheeks erupt in a mass of red. He let out a startled breath and his eyes widened.

Near gave a small chuckle before planting a kiss on the redhead's cheek.

Mello frowned, crossing his arms. "Well then, at least give me a warning so I can turn away or something. It's more than slightly uncomfortable being around you two when you get into that… _mode_." He pointed out.

"What mode?" Matt asked, rubbing his eyes groggily as Near got off of him. The redhead gave a small yawn.

Mello turned to look at Matt, sighing. How could they be so dense? Wasn't it staring them in the face? "Whenever you guys are together, you are all… I dunno. Affectionate would be the understatement of the year… Well, I'm surprised you two can keep your hands- well, more importantly, your _mouths_- to yourself while you're in public, that's for sure." Mello tried to explain as best he could. How are you supposed to tell two clueless people that their relation is starting to escalate to the level where Hellen Keller would be able to see that you're together? Mello laughed; when he thought that, he pictured an old lady sending her German Shepard seeing dog after Matt and Near. Sure, Hellen wasn't an old hag, and German Shepards aren't usually one's choice for a seeing dog, but hey. It sure was funny imagining it. Near being tackled by the massive dog, Matt pounding uselessly against it's back...

Mello chuckled to himself. That'd show Matt just how good he was at protecting Near.

Matt let out a small chuckle and Near smirked.

"Mello, we're so affectionate because we have to make up for the time we can't be affectionate in public," the gamer replied, smiling.

"Matt's always the one to sweet talk and touch me affectionately. I do enjoy it, but I don't usually start those kinds of things up…" Near replied, looking down at his feet, feeling a bit shy.

"See, Mello? He's just too fricken adorable for me _not_ to swoon over!" Matt couldn't keep himself from grabbing Near, and pulling him back onto the bed and into his arms.

That was the final straw for Mello.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, let's go before Linda shows up like the stalker she is." Mello grabbed Near's wrists, tugging him out of Matt's grasp and heading towards the door. Their actions were upsetting, to say the least. In fact, he could almost be called pissed off.

"Matt, if you want to come, then hurry up. I'm not waiting." He called over before dragging Near out of the room.

"What?" Matt stood up and confusedly scratched his head.

"Mello and I have to go clothing shopping for April. If you want to tag along, then you may, though I doubt Mello would last until lunchtime if you did come along," Near explained.

"I think I'll actually stay here…," Matt said. When Near's face showed a very slight bit of hurt, Matt reassured him, "For Mello's sake, Marshmallows!" The redhead walked out into the hallway and ruffled Near's hair.

Near frowned with slight annoyance at being treasted like a little kid. He usually didn't mind, but it bothered him occasionally. "Good bye, Puppy," said the albino, his voice void of emotion. He began walking down the hallway a little bit, but Matt stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

"What, I don't get a good-bye kiss?" he said in mock anger, though Near couldn't tell if he was joking or not. The readhead spun Near around, wrapped his arms around him, and gave him the most passionate kiss he'd ever given before, tongue and all. He didn't break the kiss, either.

If all the straws were gone before, then Mello was definitely in the negatives now. Murderous rage shot like bullets through his system, consuming his mind, taking over his actions and dominating his motives. His muscles tensed up, rock hard, and then, almost like a spring, it came out.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU?!" He shouted, shoving Near onto the other end of the hallway and turning around on Matt, his eyes practically ablaze. "DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU NOT TO DO THAT?!" To prove his point, he leapt at Matt, shoving him against the wall and fisting the red-head's hair with one hand and pressing against his chest with the other.

"DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?!" He was practically at full volume, and he really didn't give a damn about who heard him or if it hurt Matt. Heck, that would be a bonus. Clenching his teeth, he pulled down sharply on Matt's hair.

Near grew worried quickly. Matt had been asleep when Mello told Near that he didn't want to see them kissing. He picked up April and then his mind reeled over what to do.

"Mello, I don't know what you're talking about!" Matt shouted, not seeing any way to get the upper hand in this situation. He let out small cries as Mello pulled his hair.

Near knew what he needed to do, but he wasn't sure how he should do it. He was also afraid of what Mello might do to him. Gulping down his fears, Near shouted at Mello, "He was asleep when you said you didn't want us to kiss with you around!" Then he quickly approached the blond from behind and jabbed him in his sides with both fingers. He really hoped Mello was susceptible to tasers, because that's the only way Near could think to stop Mello. He wasn't a very strong person, after all.

"OW!" Mello clenched his sides, releasing Matt and rounding on Near.

"What was that for?!" He demanded, raising a hand to slap it across Near's face.

That's when a tiny bead of consciousness formed in his mind.

"…" Lowering his head, Mello fisted his hands so hard they almost started bleeding, and stormed off.

"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. God-damn fucking _shit_!" He cursed, leaning against a doorway after turning a corner and trying to calm his rapid breathing. His hands weren't bleeding, but the skin was broken and quite tender.

Near quickly approched Matt and looked him over carefully. "You okay, Puppy?"

"Yeah," Matt panted, "how about you?"

Near shrugged and wrapped his arms around Matt, finding comfort in his warmth.

Matt responded positively and held Near tightly against himself. He was glad that Near was okay, but worried about Mello. Was he still bothered over the fact that Matt was dating his ex-rival? Or was it for a different reason? He didn't want to consider the other reasons, so he hugged Near tighter, as if his innocence could drive away the bad thoughts.

"Matt," Near said, his voice muffled by Matt's shirt and person, "please let go." He pushed against Matt's chest, trying to get free.

Matt frowned but released him.

"I'm off to catch up with Mello," said Near. He began walking in the direction Mello had went, but Matt stopped him again.

"No, Marshmallows, I don't want you around Mello when he's angry like that." Matt shook his head in disapproval.

"I have to go, Matt. I can take care of myself." Near brushed past Matt and walked down the hallway.

This time, Matt let him go. He was still worried, but what else could he do? Especially since he heard his baby start to cry. It was just _perfect_. He didn't know what it could want. He didn't even know the little hooligan's name.

Near shuffled along the hall, April in hand, looking for Mello. It wasn't terribly hard to find the blond. And once he did, he approached him without hesitation. "Sorry for upsetting you Mello. I assure you that I'll be on my best behavior so as not to cause any more trouble for you," he said, trying to comfort the blond in his own, awkward, and very indirect way.

Mello threw his best death glare at Near, though considering that he was rather shaky and the anger was slowly leaving his body, it wasn't his best.

"Sorry doesn't help at all, you know." He muttered, frowning and turning his head. There was something about Near's face that greatly unsettled him.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"So…" Mello's gaze darkened, and he glanced over at Near again, initiating eye contact. This time, his glare was more prepared. "Where's Matt? I thought he was your _puppy_." He spat the word out distastefully. Bubbles of anger and jealousy rose and popped and rose again like tar in his chest. What he was jealous of, he did not know. Was it because life seemed so easy for them? Was it because they knew that there was someone that loved them? Or was he just off the mark entirely?

"Matt decided to stay here at Wammy's…," Near explained, though he knew Mello had heard Matt say he was staying for Mello's sake. "Mello, if that topic bothers you, then why bring it up? I said sorry, not because I wanted to fix something, but to show that I regret upsetting you. You had just calmed down because of it, and now you've gone and ruined my work by getting angry again," he said. Again, he was merely trying to calm Mello down, but he hadn't exactly acquired the people skills required to actually do much.

Mello frowned. "Shut up. You're giving me a headache." He muttered, placing his head in his hands and shaking it slightly, as though trying to shake water out of his ears. "Please, just…" He released his head, loosely grabbing onto Near's shoulder and leaned forward slightly.

Oh. That actually felt rather nice… he leaned in a bit more, and the pressure and anger was slowly relieved from his body. "don't talk."

And then, Mello leaned in a bit closer, tilting his head slightly as his lips touched Near's.

It was nothing like Matt and Near's kiss- unlike the demanding air it had, this was just a feather-light brushing of skin, one that rather irritated him. He didn't want to move closer, but their lips brushed together in such a way that was almost irritating. But then again, wasn't everything irritating?

Mello pulled away quickly, his head suddenly feeling a bit light and dizzy from the sudden pressure that was piled upon it once more. It was so much easier to be in his previous position…

Mello blinked, surprised.

What had he just done?

'_Oooooh, god. You're in deep shit now, Mello. FANTASTIC. You've just gone off and kissed Near. NEAR! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING, MELLO?! Has someone put something in my chocolate? Yes, that has to be it! That's why I've been acting so strange since the food fight! Yes, I can see it now! It's a conspiracy! But who the hell would want me to do this? Maybe they're trying to mess with my head! Yes, that has to be it! But who would do that? Matt would! Yeah, it's Matt's fault! Wait, there we go again! God damn it, what's wrong with me?! Ugh, stupid conspirers! Stupid chocolate- wait. What? Chocolate's not stupid, retard! God, what did they _put_ in there?'_ Mello's thoughts were running wild as he stood there, staring down at Near, confusion and surprise etched into his features.

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**A/N: **I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I like it, but I don't like it at the same time. I know it seems like Matt and Near's relationship is developing too quickly, but it's important to the plot, and not just because of Mello.

This chapter pretty much explains why Mello was so angry whenever Near and Matt were lovey-dovey! You get a high five if you knew this would happen!

Time for shameless advertising! I wrote two oneshots for Near's birthday and they're up, so if you want to read them and review and love me, that would be fantabulous. One's called Happy Birthday, I Guess and the other is called Over the Hill.

Until next time, review, fave and alert!


	4. Earth to Mello!

**A/N:** Uber lateness. Projects, work. High school. Future boyfriend. Blah.

It's here, it's late, enjoy it Dx

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Near's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. While it wasn't every day that he got kissed by Mello, his actions weren't very surprising. Mello _had_ been acting strange lately. This was the answer. Mello had a crush on Near. Honestly, Near didn't know what to think of the situation. It was emotionally confusing for poor emotionally challenged Near.

"I don't know what to make of this situation, Mello," he admitted, "so I'd like to pretend that didn't happen."

Mello grinned. "Alright then. I think I can live with that." He laughed, giving Near two thumbs up.

"Though I have to say that your kissing is rather pitiful." He commented, sighing. "What on _earth_ makes Matt find you so irresistible?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Mello, it makes a difference when I actually kiss back, you know. What just happened was similar to you kissing a wall." Near rolled his eyes. He _thought_ he just told Mello that they should forget about the kiss. Mello appeared to be deaf today.

Mello frowned. "A wall would probably taste better than you…" He muttered under his breath.

"Speaking of him, where did you leave Matt? I want to go soon." He hastily changed the subject.

"The taste of my lips might be the result of not brushing my teeth." Near changed the subject back. "And I _believe_ you were told _numerous_ times already that _Matt is staying here_!" Near was beginning to get annoyed with Mello's lack of hearing.

Mello sighed. "Numerous? More like _once_." He countered. "And that was right before- god, is it impossible to _not_ talk about it?" He groaned, raking a hand through his hair. "And why don't you brush your teeth? Do you have no sense of personal hygiene, or are you just lazy?" He prompted.

"Try three times, Mello," Near scoffed, "and I only brought it up again because you did. I offered to let you pretend it did not happen, but you rejected my offer by talking about it again. So now I will make you suffer by talking about it. Also, it was merely laziness."

Mello raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Laziness?" he echoed, "Are you serious? I highly doubt that _you_ are lazy. And if you want to talk about it, then fine. I can make your life hell too if I want." He pointed out.

Near shrugged. "I'm not lazy with most things. However, personal hygiene is mundane and seems unnecessary most of the time. My teeth won't rot in a single day." Then Near switched subjects, "If you make my life hell, I will tell Matt you kissed me and then _both_ of us will make your life hell, and I doubt that's what you want."

Mello glared at Near. "I don't have a choice in the subject, do I?" He asked, his shoulders sagging. He _hated_ losing, and he had just failed to win against Near. Again.

"Yes, and thank you for dropping April while you were screaming at Matt, by the way. Now let's go. I wish to get this over with quickly and painlessly," Near said.

Mello's eyes widened, and he snatched April away from Near, holding her close in his cradled arms as a blush dusted his face.

"Oh. Thanks for getting it." He began to walk forward, only turning back to say, "You coming?"

"My, my, you are quite the dedicated father," Near mused, slightly sarcastic.

The two exited Wammy's, both slightly on their toes. They weren't normally aloud outside of the Wammy property, but they had the okay for today. However, even with that okay, it still felt like they were breaking the rules. They slowly walked into town to attempt to find a clothing store.

Near had never been outside of Wammy's House, so he honestly had no idea where they were going. He took note of everything they passed, however.

Mello had more experience with the town. He'd snuck out a few times before and come to the town to relax for a day. He grinned as he led Near through the city. Finally there was something he knew better than Near. It was only too bad they'd never be tested on how well they knew the town, though.

Mello ended up leading Near to a large mall. Together, they entered and searched for a baby's clothing store on one of the mall directories. When they finally entered one, Near got a bad feeling in his stomach. He felt _extremely_ out of place here.

Mello looked around, April's arms draped around his neck and he held her by her lower back. They had only just got in there, and almost everyone had stopped to look at them.

"Our mom wants us to find some clothes for this thing. It's our little sister's birthday, and this is her favorite toy." He lied smoothly. A couple people muttered between themselves, but for the most part, the lie was believable. It seemed rather plausible, especially with the irritated look on his face. He just hope Near wasn't looking fascinated or anything…

He looked over at Near cautiously.

Oh good. He looked rather nervous. Perfect!

Mello grinned.

"Come on little brother." He muttered, jabbing Near in the side. "Let's go find some clothes for this thing before it starts a commotion."

Near didn't reply. In fact, he didn't even move.

"You can lead the way, Mello," he said.

Mello sighed, then grabbed Near's hand and pulled him ahead. "Alright, alright." He sighed. "Come on, scaredy cat." He chuckled, stopping in front of one of the sections of the wall. This particular one was dedicated solely to shirts. The one to the right was pants, and to the left were dresses. Behind them were hats, socks, shoes, and other accessories of the like; and that was only the girls section.

"So, shirts and pants or do you want to go with a dress?" He asked, his hand still gripping Near's.

Near was fine with Mello simply tugging him along by his hand, but now that he was just standing there looking at the wall of clothing, Near glared at the blond for not letting go of his hand. Did Mello even realize what he was doing?

"Let's go with a dress just to make this easy. Also, release my hand," Near solemnly demanded.

Mello complied immediately, his gaze shifting to the floor for a half-second before moving to the dresses as he walked in front of the respective section. "Well… pick one."

"You can choose it, I just want to get out of here."

Mello grabbed a plain pale yellow dress with small green and blue flowers on the bottom before heading over to the cashier. "That'll be… 11 euros, please." Mello gave the man the respective money, and walked out of the store.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"I suppose not," Near admitted. Before he could say anything else, his stomach began to speak for him, growling loudly. Near brought a hand to his tummy and wondered if Mello heard his stomach growl, too.

Mello looked at Near with amusement. "Someone's hungry. Want to grab a bite to eat, or do you want to wait until we get back?" He asked.

"There's no reason not to eat here, is there?" Near asked.

Mello shook his head. "No. Come on, the food court is this way." Mello pointed to the left.

Near followed Mello to the food court a bit anxiously. It looked like today would be the day when they found out how good, or bad, Wammy's food really was. He was also anxious because people kept giving him weird stares. When they got to the food court, Near looked around at all the choices. He had no idea what he wanted.

"What would you like to eat, Mello?" Near asked, hiding all emotions behind an expressionless mask. "I'm fine with whatever you want."

Mello nodded, and walked over to the nearest pizza vendor. "Alrighty then… I'll have a small cheese pizza, some bread sticks, and two bottles of water, thanks… oh, and one of those Hershey bars would be great too… thanks!" He grabbed his change, and when the food was ready, and brought it over to the table Near had chosen.

"Well, I must say I am surprised that you didn't order the pizza with M&M's on it." Near grinned. He took a slice of the pizza and eyed it carefully. "I suppose this is it… Down the hatch…" His voice trailed off as he bit into the pizza carefully. He took a small bite, and immediately regretted it. It scalded his tongue a little bit, and he swallowed it quickly. He grabbed at the water bottle and drank a bit of it. Although it wasn't much, the cool liquid soothed his burnt mouth more than words could describe.

Mello looked over at Near from his own slice, tilting his head to the side. "Too hot? I'm sure the bread sticks would be much less painful to eat…" He offered hesitantly.

'_Damn it, this is like a freaking date!'_

"I'll give them a try," Near said as he slid one out of the bag they came in. It felt considerably cooler on his fingers. With a gulp, he bit into it and chewed it slowly, trying to get the entire flavor of it. He decided it tasted okay. Wammy's breadsticks were much better, as this one only tasted as if it had been dipped in oily butter and had cheese bits sprinkled frivolously on it.

Mello looked over at Near. "… Are they good?" He asked, grabbing one for himself and biting into it. The bread felt almost like butter in his mouth, and his tongue tingled, nearly stinging, with the flavor of garlic. The cheese on top did ease the tingling, and all the flavors seemed to harmonize right there on his tongue.

Surely Near liked it; how could he not? Of course, the bread was probably soft because of the oil soaking into it, the flavor masked by butter, so there was a good chance Near wouldn't like it because of that.

"If anyone enjoyed this bread more than simply writing it off as "okay," I would say that have a very low standard when it comes to food, or at least breadsticks," Near answered easily. If he was ever asked in the future if he'd like to have these again, Near would say no.

Near wouldn't be surprised if Mello thought it was good. For some reason, Near could just see Mello as trailer trash eating these while sitting in front of a TV with bent antennae wearing a sweaty, white muscle shirt while drinking a beer. Near chuckled at the mental image and grinned.

Mello frowned. Near really did have high standards for his food, didn't he? And why was he grinning and chuckling?

"What?" He asked, leaning closer to Near. "What're you laughing about?"

Near couldn't help but laugh a little harder when Mello spoke. He shook his head slowly and let out some more chuckles.

Mello sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Jeez, you don't like explaining these things to me, do you?" he asked, laughing a bit himself.

"You really shouldn't be laughing, since I'm actually laughing at _you_. I simply thought the possibility of you becoming trailer trash was funny." Near grinned. "And just now, when you spoke, I imagined you with an accent suited to a country bumpkin."

Mello frowned, crossing his arms. "Well, in case you didn't notice, laughter can be quite contagious. And really? Trailer trash?" Mello slid his face into one hand, shaking his head slightly. "Do you really think _that_ lowly of me?"

"_My_ laughter has never been contagious. Especially for you," Near mused. "And before I answer your question, you have to answer my question: Do think think the breadsticks taste good?"

Mello released his head and rolled his eyes. "There's a first time for everything. And yes, I do, thank you very much. There _is_ a bit too much oil and butter, but it tastes good none-the-less. I happen to like garlic, so this is quite a nice meal," he replied.

Near began laughing some more, though this time a bit harder. "I don't have a low opinion of you. I merely based my imagined image off of your low standard in regards of food. This has _got_ to be the worse food I've ever had. Granted, that's only true because Wammy's always serves wonderful food."

Mello's frown deepened a bit, and the old, almost unused gears in his mind began churning as he thought of a good come-back. Usually, these things came naturally to him, but here and there he would think of a really good one. Sometimes they ended up being lame, and sometimes they would be epic. Mello hoped that this would be one of the epic times. "You just need to get out more." Okay, maybe it wasn't the best come-back he'd ever made, but it worked… right?

"_I__'__m_ not the one who needs to raise his standards," Near said. "We had better get back to Wammy's… I'm starting to miss Matt."

Mello had to control himself to keep from starting a scene then and there. Frankly, that final statement was more than just irritating him. There was a burning sensation he'd been feeling quite often recently, and his head began to ache slightly. What was he feeling? Anger seemed the most likely, but it didn't seem to fit quite right; like a puzzle piece that was just off. In fact, there weren't really any emotions that seemed to fit the bill. Until he found the answer; another perfect piece to the puzzle in his mind.

It was jealousy.

"... Right." The words were almost choked out, and Mello was sure that Near would hear the upset in his voice.

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**A/N:** Yeah, yeah. Mello finally realizes he was jealous all along, whoop-de-doo, sorry for being a failure. Tickets are non refundable, and thank you for riding the So This is War train. Get your crap and leave.

SORRY JUST KIDDING!! I LOVE YOU ALL BUT MY BRAIN IS DEAD AND MY LEGS HURT AND I'LL TRY TO BE ON TIME NEXT WEEK!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT: So This is War may have to be updated once every two weeks due to the lack of time Steve and I have to write. We are running out of material saved up to post, and the writing isn't going too well as we figure out our schedules and stuff.

Please review, fave, and alert!


	5. Dear Neptune!

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait! Not much to say about this chapter, so enjoy!

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Near mentally slapped his wrist for forgetting Mello had a crush on him. He wouldn't lead the blond on, and he wouldn't the confront him until Mello decided to confront Near. So all Near could do at this moment was try not to hurt Mello by talking about Matt, or doing anything affectionate with Matt in front of Mello.

Near quickly finished two slices of the small pizza, not even commenting about the hurt in Mello's tone.

Mello finished the rest of the breadsticks and his water. After that, the two left, Mello carrying the newly dressed April, and Near carrying the water bottle he hadn't finished. The walk was mostly quiet, but half way into it, Near spoke up.

"Did you enjoy our little _excursion_?" Near asked, simply putting emphasis on 'excursion' because it rolled off his tongue in quite a pleasurable way.

Mello nodded stiffly, a frown still firmly etched on his face and the jealousy still smoldering inside of him. "Yeah," he replied, his voice devoid of emotion. "You?"

"I had a simply _amazing_ time with you, Mello." Near rolled his eyes. Mello was being such a baby about this. He did decide, however, that he couldn't just let Mello stay upset like this. So, after making up his mind and settling on tossing Mello a bone, Near pretended to trip and fall into Mello's side, "accidentally" wrapping his arms around the blond with a yelp in fake surprise at "falling." If it made Matt blush when it happened last month, it should make Mello feel better now.

Mello's mouth opened in surprise, and his body shifted to the side and immediately accommodated for the extra weight on his side. He felt his face heat up; it didn't happen very often before, but now it was becoming quite the common occurrence. One he didn't enjoy. "Get off me." He muttered, poking Near. His voice probably wasn't very convincing; Mello actually quite enjoyed seeing Near like that. The small yelp that emitted from his mouth was actually quite nice to hear once in a while. What else made him make noises like that…?

'_No no no no no. Get your mind out of the god-damned gutter and think straight!' _He thought furiously, his blush deepening at the images that flashed briefly in his mind before they were silenced.

"… Am I going to have to drag you all the way back to Wammy's?" He asked, sighing as he tried to rid himself of the blush on his face. It wasn't very dignifying for someone of Mello's personality and reputation.

"I apologize, Mello," Near lied, letting his hands trail over Mello's back and chest as he removed his arms from the blond. "Sometimes I can be so clumsy that it's really quite ridiculous." He looked at Mello with his wide eyes and slightly parted mouth in the expressionless way that Matt thought was just adorable. Near figured Matt and Mello were pretty similar, so it would be giving Mello some eye-candy that wasn't discernable as on purpose. Near often made that face simply by accident, so no one could tell when he meant to do it.

Mello couldn't help but close his eyes momentarily as shivers ran down his spine at Near's 'accidental' touch. What the heck was he doing? Near usually wasn't this clumsy."Evidently so." He murmured, looking over at Near.

Okay, maybe that wasn't the best idea.

His blush did darken a bit, but it wasn't nearly as noticeable as the confused, wide-eyed stare that Near received from Mello for quite a few seconds. With a cough, Mello regained himself as he once again barricaded the images that flooded his mind outside.

"…Forgiven. Come on, let's go." He motioned towards the orphanage, which was in sight, and turned towards it. Before he started heading over to it, there was a strange prickling sensation in his hand, and he felt the sudden urge to grab Near's like he had in the store. Luckily, he held himself back, trying to satisfy the need by clenching said hand into a tight fist. It wasn't nearly as satisfying, but it would have to do.

Near was silent the rest of the way to Wammy's. He wasn't sure if Mello was feeling better or not, but he wasn't willing to put more effort into cheering him up. Afterall, he had only promised Matt to get along with Mello, not become best friends with him. And, of course, right when they walked through Wammy's front door, April began screaming and crying.

Mello almost jumped when April began crying once more. The sound pierced his eardrum, and he covered his ears to block out the noise."Gah! What does it want now?!" He grabbed April and looked her over, trying to find some sort of speaker. Gritting his teeth, he ran his hand up the machine's back.

"There's the damned speakers." He muttered, clamping a hand over the speakers. The noise level dropped considerably, and Mello looked up to find a dozen or so people, if not more, staring at him and Near.

"Mello! You're supposed to make her _stop_ crying! You can't just put your hand over her speaker, dumbass!" Near scolded Mello. He was surprised that he had cussed. He never did that. Perhaps Mello's foul language had rubbed off on him. Or perhaps it was Matt? Well, that was only part of it. Something about Mello just made Near think negatively.

Mello looked over at Near, surprised. "Near? Since when do _you_ curse?" He asked, forgetting about the wails that were still going on. He remembered, however, when his finger shifted and the crying suddenly increased in volume.

"Ah, shit!" He cursed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and pulling out some various magnets. "Alright, here we go, you damn kid…" He frowned, letting one of the magnets click into place over April's mouth. The wailing reduced to soft cries, which then subsided altogether.

"There. Happy now, Near?" Somehow, the fact that the first curse Near had ever breathed was directed at him was not very comforting. Was Mello really that annoying? April had cried, and Mello had simply done the first thing that had come to his mind. What was so wrong with that? It's not like he was going to let April keep crying like that. So what was the big deal?

"I apologize for cursing…" Near's voice trailed off as he thought about why he had in the first place. "I probably did it because I think negative thoughts whenever I'm around you. That's most likely an effect of you torturing me for most of my life." He thought aloud. He couldn't care less if Mello heard it, either. It was all true, and Near simply couldn't let that grudge go.

Mello blinked. That… made sense. "I suppose that works… So then, since I forgave you for being so damn 'clumsy', will you forgive me for being a total bastard?" He asked, starting to walk again. He spoke quietly, so that nobody would hear. Mello wasn't exactly known for apologizing.

Near thought about it as they made their way to Mello's room. Near hadn't actually been sorry for "falling" into Mello. So the fact that Mello forgave him for his fake apology didn't count for anything. Once they were finally inside Mello's room, Near spoke up.

"No, I won't forgive you. All the bruises and injuries I've ever received here were all your fault. I can't, and simply won't, forgive you so easily."

Mello looked over at Near. Right now, Near was sounding quite right, and that made Mello feel rather upset at himself. He really _was_ a bastard, wasn't he? "…" He blinked, but didn't reply. What was Mello supposed to do now? He was really starting to regret acting like how he had, though he wasn't quite sure why. He didn't hate Near anymore… was that why he'd started to care about it in the first place? Because Mello didn't care before he'd gotten over his hatred of Near? Thinking about it, Mello decided that it had to be the reason. Mello simply never cared; and _that_ was the problem. Before, he had just channeled all of his anger into violence, and he forced all of that anger onto Near. He'd never bothered to stop and wonder how Near or Matt felt about his actions. Now that he'd finally thought about it, he'd realized how wrong he really was. Sure, it felt good, but that didn't make it right, did it? Mello was pretty sure that if abusing Near like that was wrong, then forcing a kiss on him was, too.

"Well then, what _can_ I do?"

"I don't know what you could do to make me able to forgive you. Since I don't know what you could do, I suggest you do whatever you want. Though I don't know why you would want me to forgive you in the first place," Near said, thoughtfully twirling a lock of his hair.

Mello sighed. "Because being known as being a total bastard isn't fun." He replied, shrugging. It was the truth after all. Though, what was he supposed to do to be forgiven? It had to be something Near wanted, right? Or something he liked?

… What did Near like?

Mello thought over that question for a moment, but after several imaginary scenarios that were nosebleed inducing, Mello decided to abandon that thought.

"Yeah, because being respected for beating the crap out of innocent bystanders is _so_ lame." Near rolled his eyes.

Mello grit his teeth, stepping closer to Near as anger prickled in his chest. "At least people I don't know don't bother me. Except of course, for _you_, the single exception to this lovely golden rule." He pressed his finger to Near's chest, almost harshly, as he took another step closer so he was almost looming over the smaller boy.

Near glared up at Mello. "Well, you _do_ know how I'm a 'freak,' as you like to call me."

Mello laughed. "A freak? Is it so wrong to call you that? You're smarter than everyone else, you're a freaking _genius_ at puzzles, you do nothing but play with those toys of yours and do what you do with Matt. You eat only the best food, you do your work, and you never brush your teeth." He pointed out, shrugging. Somehow, saying those things didn't bug him. Maybe all of those things seemed like compliments to him. Grinning a bit, Mello dropped April and fisted Near's shirt with one hand and pressed the other against Near's stomach with the other. Leaning downward so his lips were just below Near's chin, Mello sighed.

"You know… I've always had an… _interest_ in special things." With those words, Mello pressed his lips to Near's neck, tilting his head slightly and stepping a bit closer to the boy.

"Uh…" Near breathed. His eyes were opened as wide as they would go. Sirens in his head screamed to run; he was in danger. Sadly, his body froze up, rendering escape impossible. The only thing he could do was say, "I brush my teeth most days…" Other than that, he was putty in Mello's hands.

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**A/N: **Oh dear Neptune! What will Mello do to Near next??? Stay tuned to find out!

Reviews, faves, and alerts are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hm…. It's been a long time since I updated this story.

Important announcements at the end.

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Mello was, to put it simply, very happy that Near wasn't fighting him. "Hm?" He closed his eyes, the hand on his stomach coming up under Near's arm and fisting in the soft white curls. Mello kissed the heated skin for a few more moments before nipping it softly.

A light blush crept across Near's face, blanketing his cheeks in a pink hue. He was still too scared to move, but he desperately wanted to punch Mello in the face. He settled for taunting the blond verbally.

"Jeez, Mello, I didn't know you were a vampire," he retorted. Near instantly wanted to take back what he said. If anything, his taunt would just provoke Mello to move further. Also, the way the words tumbled from Near's breathless lips, they sounded more like a playful joke.

Mello grinned. "Oh? Is that what you think?" He asked slyly, moving once more; he was practically pressed up against Near. Mello liked the thought, but they were just standing in the middle of the room; the only way Mello would be able to do so is if they were against a wall, or on the floor… and Mello wasn't quite sure whether or not he would be allowed to do that. How far was too far? It didn't seem like Near seemed to mind, though he had to admit; Near was rather tense. "Don't worry, I won't bite too hard." He murmured, standing strait once more and tilting Near's chin up. "I promise." Then, Mello pressed his lips to Near's eagerly.

Near didn't react to Mello's words, or the kiss. He simply wanted this to be over, and since he still couldn't move, he certainly hoped Mello would finish with this quickly.

Mello frowned at Near's lack of response. What was going on? This wasn't supposed to happen. Near was supposed to do something! Starting to get a bit impatient for a response, Mello quickly slipped his tongue into Near's mouth, letting his tongue explore and memorize every curve and shape in Near's mouth. Surely, Near had to respond _now_.

Feeling Mello's tongue in his mouth broke Near from his rigid state. He quickly, but not completely comprehensively, tried to think the situation over. Mello was kissing him. _Frenching_ him at that. The blond's hands were placed in a way Near rarely felt in a gentle way. All in all, Near couldn't say he disliked it. In addition, the thought of Matt was far from his mind. The only things on his mind right now were Mello's actions, and the fact that he liked them.

Near reacted more than positively. He closed his eyes, intertwined his tongue with Mello's, put his hands on Mello's back, and pulled the blond closer, his water bottle falling to the floor.

Mello inhaled sharply, almost gasping at the delighting response he was now getting as his eyes opened momentarily. His hand slid from Near's chin to his back, pulling Near closer, his eyes fluttering back closed again as all thought of reserve and nervousness began to fade out. The water bottle went unnoticed; his mind was far too into its state of euphoria to pay attention to it.

He happily let Near do as he pleased, and began enticing Near to continue and possibly escalate his actions by sucking on the pink appendage softly.

Near let out a pleasured sound as Mello sucked on his tongue. He began thinking of the things he wanted to do to make this much nicer. The first thing he wanted was for Mello to stroke his hair. He thought how nice it might feel if Mello played with his hair the way Matt did… That's when Near realized what he was doing and who with.

Hastily, Near broke the kiss. He quickly pried Mello's arms off of him and took a few steps back. All the while, he stared at Mello horrified and mortified. Near had just kissed another person. And to make things worse, it was Matt's best friend. He frowned, turned around and ran towards the door. He needed to get out of there.

Near bumped shoulders with a certain red head as he left the room. The encounter terrified Near as he stared at Matt. Then he quickly continued his dash into his room, locking the door behind him for safety.

Matt scratched his head, confused. "What's up with _him_?" he asked.

Mello stared, surprised, as Near dashed out of the room. Near didn't _sound_ like Mello was taking it too far… so why did he leave?

When Matt walked in, Mello whipped around and wiped off the small trail of saliva that was running down his chin and stretched, making it appear that he'd been turned around the whole time. Then, while furiously working to keep his previously escalated heart-beat under control, he pulled a straight face and shrugged.

"No clue." A smile tugged at his lips, and he allowed it to pass. "Matt, that boy confuses me sometimes…"

"Do you think I should go ask him what's wrong?" Matt wondered, tilting his head to the side.

Mello blinked. "I dunno," he answered. If Matt did indeed go to Near, would Near tell him what happened? Would he bend the truth to make Mello the one at fault? Near was probably capable of doing that, but it just didn't seem like him. Mello could understand if Near was upset, but taking it out on him would be just plain childish.

"Nah, I'll just let him come to me when he wants." Matt shrugged. Then he went over and flopped down onto his bed. He let out a tired sigh, though it was only noon. "Well, while you were off having fun with Near, I was stuck listening to Linda's annoying voice! I wish _I_ would've gotten paired up with Near…"

Mello frowned. He didn't like where Matt was going. "Why am I not surprised?" He rolled his eyes, keeping his behavior in check. He needed to make sure that he wasn't acting suspicious; act mostly uncaring towards Matt and Near's relationship, and be friendly towards Matt. Both were hard, but Mello was sure he would be able to pull it off in the end.

"I'm serious, Mello! You got _so_ fucking lucky!" Matt complained. "Do you _know_ what I've had to suffer through for _two whole hours_!?"

Mello sighed. "No, thank god. I don't know how you can stand Linda, I have to give you props for that… though I'd like to see you take on Hawtdawg for a real challenge," Mello commented, plopping down on his bed and leaning back.

"No chance in hell I would be partners with Hawtdawg," Matt said quietly. "So," Matt propped himself up on one elbow and looked over at Mello, "how'd your time with Near go? You didn't rough him up, did you?"

Mello thought back on the events that occurred that day and a grin adorned his face. "Nope! Not at all! I even treated him to lunch. I was a _good_ boy all day!" He replied happily.

"You better not have slipped any poison in his drink," Matt warned, narrowing his eyes at the blond.

Mello sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I didn't, don't worry. He's perfectly healthy." He rolled his eyes.

"Good. So what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?" Matt asked.

Mello shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not that hungry… What do _you_ want to do?" He asked.

"Play video games… You wanna play with me?" Matt asked, getting up and walking over to the TV stand where his Xbox proudly stood.

Mello nodded enthusiastically and stood up, walking over to Matt. "Sounds awesome! Got any games in mind?" He crouched down and dragged out a few small containers full of video games that were specifically for the Xbox, and then began to rummage through them for a game he liked.

"How about Call of Duty? Or something old, like Halo?" Matt suggested.

Mello pondered over that for a moment before deciding. "Hm… Call of Duty kicks _ass_, man." He grinned, taking the game out of the container and giving it to Matt.

Near sat in his room trying to stack dice into a tower. Sadly, he was so nervous that he kept messing up the ground floor. And _that_ was embarrassing. Worry was coursing through his veins and his heart was racing. He had always thought people who committed infidelity were weak and immoral. Was he weak and immoral now?

That didn't matter to Near, actually. He had never seen himself as a good guy, anyways. The problem was Matt, and what Near should do. He knew he should honestly tell Matt what had happened, but he didn't want to hurt the redhead. Telling Matt that he had made out with Mello would break Matt's heart.

Near had only seen Matt angry when he and Mello had been fighting. He wasn't sure how angry Matt would be if he found out that he and Mello had pushed _way_ past the fighting and kissed. The first kiss, the one Mello had planted on Near after freaking out about Matt and Near's relationship, could be blamed on Mello. This kiss, however, was Near's fault too. He hadn't been able to push Mello away. He was frozen with fear, which wasn't that terrible. However, Near knew he had crossed the line with kissing back.

If Near tried to hide this from Matt, bad things would happen, though. Mello would be able to blackmail Near. Matt would lose trust in Near when he found out eventually. Hawtdawg would find a way to make the situation ten times worse. Near needed to find a way to fix this.

What if Matt was on the same level as Near? What if Matt kissed someone as well and was as guilty as Near? That could work. Then Matt would feel guilty and when Matt confessed about the kiss, then Near could confess about his kiss with Mello. But who would Matt want to kiss freely?

Near didn't really know who Matt could possibly be attracted to. Plus, how would Near get Matt to kiss them? As he had pointed out multiple times before, Matt was like a dog. He was the most loyal person Near knew. Besides those problems, Near knew that plans like that always backfired. Though he didn't watch TV, he knew that the girlfriend who cheated would try to get her boyfriend to kiss someone else only to have the boyfriend find out and dump her.

Near resented being compared to a girl, even though he himself had made the comparison. Sure, he wasn't the "manliest" guy around, but he certainly was no girl.

Reality caught Near and stopped him from trying to think of other ways to avoid breaking Matt's heart. He knew that any plan to avoid it would be futile. Matt would be crushed no matter what. Near had to confront Matt face-to-face and admit to his infidelity.

The thing Near really had to worry about was how to word it. He wasn't sure he could say it. If he could, he was sure he would say it in a terrible way. Near wasn't the best with dealing with other peoples' emotions. He wasn't the best with dealing with his _own_ emotions. Near always locked them away, which was probably a bad thing. He probably had a brain tumor from suppressing his feelings, but that was beside the point and didn't matter anyways.

Near decided to stay in his room with the door locked for the rest of the day. He slept through most of it, wanting to rest his worried mind. If he wasn't so troubled by the situation, he would've chuckled at his predicament. A few weeks ago, he would never have thought it even possible for someone like him to be caught up in this kind of situation.

Matt came knocking on the door a couple of times, but Near ignored him, and he went away eventually, usually calling to him something like, "Well, I love you, and I guess I'll see you later, Marshmallows," through the door. It was adding salt to the injury. Near would come out and talk to the redhead after he had figured out what to say and how to say.

When Mello knocked Near's door down, though, was a different story.

Mello's eyes were narrowed as he burst open the door to Near's room.

"NEAR!" He shouted, storming over to the white-haired wonder. "It's your turn to take care of April." He shoved the baby into Near's arms, and stood there. Now his business was over with. He could leave, and not have to deal with Near until later that day.

Or…

He could stay for a while.

Grinning, Mello plopped down next to Near. "You know…" His eyes narrowed, and he put his arm around Near's shoulder. "I wouldn't mind having another kid."

Near's eyes widened and his heart raced as Mello handed him the baby. When Mello put his arm around Near and then spoke, Near stared at him, on the verge of panic attack.

"Maybe if you meet someone nice in your future, you could have another…" he whispered.

Mello frowned. Near was too calm for this. "But Near…" Mello pouted, plastering a fake look of concern on his face, "you're my _bitch_. I can't have anyone but you."

"I am not anyone's bitch, thank you," Near confidently defended himself, though he was in pieces on the insides. After a silent gulp, Near grabbed Mello's hand and removed the blonds' arm. "Now, if you'll kindly leave, I have toys to attend to."

Mello inhaled a deep breath of air, fuming with anger as he bit his lip.

"Shut up, Near!" He shouted, turning towards Near and fisting his hands. "Who do you think you are, huh? Do you think you can _control_ me?"

With that, he jumped on Near.

Near gasped as Mello landed on top of his fragile body. He was terrified now. Mello could do whatever he wanted to Near, and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He was just too weak.

"Mello, please don't hurt me…" the albino begged in a whisper. Normally, Near wouldn't be afraid of Mello, but that was when all Mello wanted was to was hit him. The idea of being raped was at least five times worse than the idea of being beat up. It left you dirty, and tainted.

Mello grinned, bringing his face merely inches from Near's with a sly grin. "Do that again." Mello whispered. "I like hearing you beg." Slowly, he drew his finger across Near's lips, his grin softening into a smile.

Near didn't reply. Even if he was terrified, he wouldn't give Mello the satisfaction of hearing him beg. He cringed at Mello's finger on his lips. Other than that, however, Near just stared blankly into Mello's eyes.

Mello sighed, relaxing a bit as he lay on top of Near. One of his hands went to Near's hair, and his fingers sliding into the soft white curls. Matt had often done that before, and he wanted to know how to bring Near's guard down. To get Near's trust. Perhaps even to be willing like he'd been before…

But he couldn't let that slip. He needed to appear a bit calmer, gentler; _kinder_.

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**A/N: **So yeah… Steve and I both hate this story. We hate writing this story. It's tedious, and unrealistic, and neither of us is into it anymore. We'll finish this story just for some readers, but the end will doubtlessly be crappy. We'd planned a whole story off of this, but we lost sight of how we originally wanted to write this story. Writing our other story, Nine in the Afternoon, made us realize how this story has slowly gotten worse and worse.

This story will not be updated very often, but I will try to end it soon. Sorry for any inconveniences or disappointments this causes, but Steve and I just aren't into this anymore. There's a high chance we'll be writing another MattxNear fic, so yeah…

I hate this story, so reviews won't really help much, and neither will faves or alerts. So yeah.


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